Friday, May 16, 2014

Feelings just keep coming out of me

I'm feeling very depressed lately, and alone, and scared... I'm not alone and I'm not sure why I feel that way... I'm hurting everyone around me... myself included honestly.  I just do not know how to get up this time.  I dont have anyone I can really turn to and say HELP ME... I just keep getting up every day and going through the motions of the day but some days, like today, it all seems like too much.  I would be much better at home, in the dark, in my bed.  I know my posts are making people sad and I'm sorry.  If you stop reading I totally understand.  But this is the only release I have for all of the feelings I have... I know I am not alone.  I have a boyfriend...  but I am not sure that it is going anywhere... I have my kids... but there is still this loneliness that I can not shake.  I'm in over my head.  I am so far in debt because I try to buy things thinking it will make me feel better... nope still feel awful and actually feel worse because then I think about how far in debt I am... I am trying to save money to move me and my girls into an apartment and prove to everyone, myself included, that I can do it... but I can barely put one foot in front of the other forget having a smile on my face!... 
Life is a messy thing... my life I have messed up and I'm not sure if I can fix it


  1. Although we've never met, I can honestly say most of us have been right where you are (at one time or another, in one way or another). If I can help you in any way, please feel free to ask. Please know I'm praying for you on this journey....

  2. Thank you :) I'm just trying to keep moving forward... so far so good... :)