Thursday, May 15, 2014

Finding my place...

Church... ever since I was a little girl I have gone to church when I was a kid it was every Sunday morning, every Sunday night and every Wednesday night.  I LOVED it.  If we did not go for some reason I was beyond upset!  As I got older and got into some not church approved behaviors my attendance fell off... alot.  But I still went off and on.  Then about 3 or 4 years ago I decided I was tired of the life I was living and I wanted to go HOME.  Even after all those years I considered church HOME.  Now growing up we went to Church of Christ.  Most of my childhood was spent at one church that I loved and then things happened that I as a child did not understand and we moved to a different church.  I grew to love that church also and 3-4 years ago when I made the decision to go HOME that is the church that I knew I would go to.  I knew before going back that they had changed from a Church of Christ to a basically non denominational church and I was ok with that.  I still do not fully grasp what all of that means but I knew that when I walked in I was HOME.  The love and support I received was exactly what I needed.  I was accepted just as I am, tattoos, single mom, bad past, all of that I was still LOVED.  I got very involved and I was again there as often as they were open.  Then my world fell apart. First of all I moved away from my support system, the church, and fell into a very deep depression.  But then when I went HOME I found that HOME was not there anymore... The church had fallen apart.  MY church.  I honestly did not know what to do.  I dont think anyone can understand that for me this church was my rock.  My everything.  I felt at that moment that I was being punished for leaving... I think sometimes I still feel this way... Since that happened I have struggled to find a new church with no luck... I do not feel comfortable or accepted at most of the ones I have gone to... My old church has kind of divided into two separate churches and I dont know which one I belong to... I have decided that I am going to go to the new building this Sunday and see if I am one still welcome and loved and two see if I still feel like it is HOME... I miss HOME and the LOVE I had there.


  1. That was beautiful. Praying that you find a church that will feed your spirit so much that you can't wait for the doors to open. I love you

  2. Awww thank you!!! I love you too :) I know you know how lost I've been lately... Thank you for not judging and for still loving me!!

  3. I would never judge you. I just get on my knees and pray for you. And I'm here NO MATTER WHAT for you. Love love love you